Archive for June, 2008
Well known for his “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television” bit, George Carlin is dead of heart failure at age 71.
Carlin was a pioneer, addressing relevant and controversial topics through his comedy, giving many a much needed reality check.
Here’s a bit of George, for your reading pleasure …
GEORGE CARLIN’S VIEW ON AGE
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we are kids!!!? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
“How old are you?”
“I’m four and a half!”
You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five!
That’s the key.
You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
“How old are you?”
“I’m gonna be 16!”
You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16!
And then the greatest day of your life .. . You become 21.
Even the words sound like a ceremony YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk!
He TURNED; we had to throw him out.
There’s no fun now, you’re just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40.
Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away.
Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70!
After that, it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80′s and every day is a complete cycle;
you HIT lunch
you TURN 4:30
you REACH bedtime.
And it doesn’t end there.
Into your 90s, you start going backwards; “I Was JUST 92.
“Then a strange thing happens.
If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.
“I’m 100 and a half!”
May you all live to be 100 1/2!
R. Kelly has been acquitted of child pornography charges that he appeared on a videotape having sex with a girl as young as 13. HolySh*T
The graphic, sordid video shows the female dancing and urinating on the floor in the man’s direction. The man then has sex with and urinates on her.
(Somebody get a mop and clean all this piss up please!)
WASHINGTON – Tim Russert, NBC News’ Washington bureau chief and the moderator of “Meet the Press,” died Friday after a sudden heart attack at the bureau, NBC News said Friday. He was 58.
Russert was recording voiceovers for Sunday’s “Meet the Press” program when he collapsed, the network said. He and his family had recently returned from Italy, where they celebrated the graduation of Russert’s son, Luke, from Boston College.