Well known for his “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television” bit, George Carlin is dead of heart failure at age 71.

Carlin was a pioneer, addressing relevant and controversial topics through his comedy, giving many a much needed reality check.

Here’s a bit of George, for your reading pleasure …

GEORGE CARLIN’S VIEW ON AGE

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we are kids!!!? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

“How old are you?”
“I’m four and a half!”
You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five!

That’s the key.

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
“How old are you?”
“I’m gonna be 16!”
You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life .. . You become 21.
Even the words sound like a ceremony YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk!
He TURNED; we had to throw him out.
There’s no fun now, you’re just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40.

Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away.

Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70!

After that, it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80’s and every day is a complete cycle;
you HIT lunch
you TURN 4:30
you REACH bedtime.

And it doesn’t end there.

Into your 90s, you start going backwards; “I Was JUST 92.

“Then a strange thing happens.

If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.
“I’m 100 and a half!”

May you all live to be 100 1/2!

R. Kelly has been acquitted of child pornography charges that he appeared on a videotape having sex with a girl as young as 13. HolySh*T

The graphic, sordid video shows the female dancing and urinating on the floor in the man’s direction. The man then has sex with and urinates on her.

(Somebody get a mop and clean all this piss up please!)

WASHINGTON - Tim Russert, NBC News’ Washington bureau chief and the moderator of “Meet the Press,” died Friday after a sudden heart attack at the bureau, NBC News said Friday. He was 58.

Russert was recording voiceovers for Sunday’s “Meet the Press” program when he collapsed, the network said. He and his family had recently returned from Italy, where they celebrated the graduation of Russert’s son, Luke, from Boston College.

All the cool kids are doing it. Be the first on your block to show your Ghetto Pride with this “Limited Edition Ghetto Groupie Series”. All Proceeds go toward station costs.

http://www.cafepress.com/ghettoradio.205220607

Unlikely heroes?

Alice Cooper and Slash were honored in Hollywood, Ca. on May 9th, 2008 at The Fourth Annual MusiCares MAP FundSM Benefit Concert, sponsored in part by The Gibson Foundation.  Alice and Slash both performed at the benefit concert.  Proceeds from the concert will benefit The MusicCares MAP Fund, which provides members of the music community access to addiction recovery regardless of their financial situation.  Cooper received the “Stevie Ray Vaughan Award” for his dedication and support of the MusiCares MAP Fund, and his devotion to helping other addicts with the recovery process.  Slash received the “MusiCares From The Heart Award” for his unconditional friendship and dedication to the mission and goals of The MusiCares Foundation.

Damn Sam!

Wesley Snipes is facing 3 years of hard time for deciding Americans didn’t need to pay taxes. In February, a federal jury convicted Snipes on three misdemeanor counts of failing to file a tax return.

Van Halen returned to the Stage after more than five weeks after postponing their reunion tour due to frontman Eddie Van Halen’s ill health. Tho it was never quite reported what the Health issue was.. Tonight they set Stage in Las Vegas on Saturday (April 19th) at Tiger Jam XI, an annual fundraiser hosted by pro golf star Tiger Woods.